Well, maybe I’ll be honest. Maybe not…..
For the sake of intimate humour and reflecting upon more youthful days, I can change names so not to embarrass to many accomplices. As if they read this blog anyway. (re: Internal Memo: The giggle). A little birdy, somewhat like my version of twitter asked me to write about older men having relationships with younger women. Maybe, it was just a creative epiphany, but the male voice seemed to think I could explain some issues that separate generations in romantic situations. (re: Internal Memo: Verbal pinning on a virtual mat).
It’s is one thing to pursue someone of your own age. Literally, I mean, pursue, versus waiting, watching, blushing and longing. Some young women have made an art of calling anonymous males over to them. Much like Marmalade down in New Orleans standing naked in the door way of the whore house. It is logical that older men seem to treat would treat them that way or perhaps as ignorant waifs to young to understand. While those of similar age to those women find it fun, enticing, encouraging to find a girl who is willing to vocalize about her desires. Discretion is never a concept that they can realize. Discretion is the clever route towards maturity.
I’ll be honest, there is the type of young woman whose interests turn towards older men. Not for the sake of financial support. Some, like Joey Buttafuco’s muse, seem to have fallen in love with the idea of replacing someone as mom. The feminine in them may have seized upon the idea of a ready-made family and “Mr.___________ has been so nice to me, I think that I want to be with him”. Others may see that men like fine wines mature with age. Not only in terms of intellect or emotion, but also physicality. Look at a panorama of pictures of your friends from high school and watch how there looks become more refined, handsome, even beautiful.
On the flip side, there is a fear and standard argument of why older men stay away from younger women: “She just wants a daddy”. Older men, especially those who have had children, do not want to raise another child when in a relationship. They want someone of similar historical experiences (e.g. The Summer of Love), someone who has reached financial stability, someone who they do not have to coddle or rear out of a third grade mentality. They want established maturity. They want an adult. A sorority hard body may have them stare, but will the pettiness and selfishness keep them there? If so, he’ll have to deal with the “He’s old enough to be her father” incestual accusations. For youth to maintain respectful and publicly acceptable behavior is only the beginning. A female’s behavior in public alone and with friends can immediately tell you the degree of embarrassment she’ll cause a man in the short and long-term. You might counter with a preference to stay in, but even that confirms the issue of embarrassment. Further more, it you are comfortable with the relationship, why hide it?
For a younger woman to have a libido that matches or exceeds a man in this instance can lead to demise of the relationship. If the man feels he can not keep up or the doctor may tell him to lay off the extended weekends of love-making. His confidence leaves him and may seek to end the relationship or extend a kind of control that stems from not wanting to give up his fantasy just yet. Some may not heed their doctors warnings in the short-term. They may try any means to keep what they need to give up. He may seek to shower her with objects and basically pay her to stay. The PYT (Pretty Young Thing, according to Michael Jackson’s song) becomes a prostitute if she is actually hooked on his financial status at all.
There are ways of making it work. It takes consideration, patience on both parts and teaching each other what you do and don’t like. Not to mention building an intimate rapport by sharing life experiences outside the realms of a bedroom. And yes, maintaining good physical health helps.
The Underground Librarian 