Kiltliness: what’s under the skirt?
What if? Well, how do I put this? When a man wears a kilt is he wearing a skirt?
And do the cross dressing jokes ever end from non-Scottish man alike and unalike in character? It takes a lot of chutzpah. Actually it takes a lot of self-security and respect for traditional obligations to slip off the donned tight elastic cotton and pin on a kilt. {Aside: from what I understand, not necessarily seen, the traditional way to wear a kilt is for a man’s height to be free to sway beneath the tartan.} Shamelessly I ask, in this shower of deaths does the bagpipe player at the funeral go sans underwear or not? It’s just a thought, just a small curiosity of sorts.
Considering the free breeze beneath the wool, I wonder if kilt wearers are always ready and able. That brings me to another reason why to wear a skirt. As a female, there is a pointing your life when your personal dress code revolves around the panty line. The only reason it does get to that point is because you understand, to attract a man that your posterior should be appealing. Not unlike an onion. It may be old slang, but the apple bottom came after the onion. For that type of man, tight jeans are a boon, but panty lines are not, especially in form-fitting dresses.
I must confess that tight fitting pants can be a mess in themselves. Worrying about no panty line gets to a point of staving off strangulation of the thighs and camel toe. Camel toe is vernacular for when pants are so tight on a woman that a “u” or rounded “y” shape occurs in the crotch area. It is noticeable when they display themselves in front of you. Camel toe runs into that grey area when no underwear is worn.
I remember in high school, a friend’s mom picked me up to spend the night at their house. We had a heart to heart chat and through her I was first introduced to feminism and the gay divorcee icon. Gay meaning happy, carefree and not letting any boundary or convention get in the way of them establishing their own lives. Her form was large and curvy and she wore jeans that I swore, she poured herself into. If I remember correctly, she told me she no longer wore underwear, especially if she was not one her menses. It was confining and constricting to her. I think the divorce was like unlocking the chastity belt that was her underwear. Yes, from what I could tell, she had a life outside of kids.
How unstrange it was that I vowed then and there that when I got a sex life, I’d leave the underwear behind too.
Undergarments under normal wear and tear serve a perfunctory function. Undergarments for lovers are the dangling tassels of the dialogue of enticement. Clever girls remember that feeling sexy underneath the main mantle, translates above the mantle. Which definitely makes a connection to the type of men who look, gaze maybe even gawk and wonder if the underwear is there. To that I say: If a Scottish man can pull it off, so can I– Especially 24 of the 28 days of a month.
